33×34, Men’s Large, Size 12

“You won’t always be able to meditate or journal you’re way out of every difficult situation in life.  Sometimes you will experience things that are hard, and no matter how many tools and exercises you do to manage your pain, grief is grief and it is hard to sit in it.”

Minaa B., LMSW

Remember yesterday when I alluded to having written in a personal journal since the summer of ’17?  In case you missed it, I’ll wait…


…okay, I’m done waiting.  You can read it after you’re finished here.  Today’s scribble is kind of the other side of that post.  Today is for saying that sometimes, there just aren’t enough pages in a journal, or hours in a day to write in it, until you experience “better”, if “better” even comes at all.  I’m quoting the words of a PhD in today’s intro to let you know that writing till your hand cramps is not always the way out of whatever you find yourself in.  No recommendations will follow at the end of this post, but I trust that you, or someone you trust, can find those resources, should you wish to.  What I am saying, in just these few words, is, healing takes time. 

Sometimes, lots of time.

Mine took almost three years.

One size doesn’t fit all, though if you’re considering something for Christmas or my birthday, the specifications are 33×34, men’s large, size 12, thank you in advance.  And one size definitely does not fit all when it comes to matters of the heart, or the head.  Often, the one size that does not fit all comes in the form of a NEXT.  Whatever it was that you lost, or somehow lost you, we are being present-day-cultured to replace that loss, as soon as fucking possible.  We are led, and often coerced, to believe, that, “To get over someone is to get under someone”.  Or, “When you’ve been left, swipe right”.  People charging blind into the unknown, just because they were blindsided, or as Mike Tyson actually said,

“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face”.

Yes, actually said, when a reporter asked him how he would handle the strategy of his upcoming opponent, Evander Holyfield. 

Humorous side-note, Tyson lost to Evander Holyfield.

Tyson had a plan for someone’s plan.  Holyfield had a plan for Tyson’s plan.  Holyfield waited five years to show Tyson what a plan could really be, if you actually had one.

Now real life is NOT boxing.  Well, real life is not REAL boxing.  One day, you can ask me all about real life as it is summarized in the creative words and fictional worlds of writer/directors Sylvester Stallone and Ryan Coogler, but not here and not now.  Now is when I say that reacting, when you ought to be healing, should not come highly recommended.  And that, while time, by itself, heals no wounds, maybe time is the one thing that your healing needs most.

So I’m gonna ask, was there ever a time when you know you should have taken more time?  We’ve all got our answers.  I’d love to hear yours.

That’s the end of week one.  See you tomorrow.


  1. beeben95 says:

    Yes. Until my lesson was learned, and I had an almost 12 year period of no one but me. People in my ears… “get out there….you are so young”…. (I’m really not) but I drowned out the noise, and listened to myself…..and I’m glad I did, because it paid off big time.
    Sometimes, you need time alone to figure things out and work through the B.S. Mine happened to be almost 12 years…..a little long for some….but it made stepping into what I have now, so much better.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Healing takes time and it’s different for everyone. One of the quotes on my wall: “Speed doesn’t matter. Forward is forward.” Sometimes forward is backward, and that’s okay too.

    Liked by 1 person

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