I would like to
preface this by saying,
I understand.
Of late, I believe you to be
leaning in the right direction,
as far as which side of history
you want to be on.
Much the same way, I’m sure,
Mussolini was leaning in the
right direction, just before
the Partisans of Dongo shot
his body full of holes, then
hung him upside-down by his heels
from a metal girder at the local
gas station, leaving him to rot there
for days, and giving the townsfolk
time to beat his corps with sticks,
and turn his face unrecognizable
from all the jagged rocks,
thrown by their children.
Joe, did I
forget to mention that
I understand?
Now I’m not saying that
this is what will become of you,
as it did of Il Duce. You were
alive in 1945, right Joe?
Raised on all the stories about
the brave freedom fighters of Europe
who stood in there and took all
the shit the Third Reich could deliver,
until those brave, everyday fellas,
who looked a lot like Tom Hanks,
finally showed up to save them
from the horrors of the isms.
Yeah, the brave, everyday fellas.
The ones who liberated the
oppressed, then came home to
their GI Bill, at least the ones
who looked like Tom Hanks.
And their endless hope, that hope
you’ve spent the last four years
telling anyone who will listen to you,
still exists. As long as
they look like Tom Hanks.
And while we’re
on the subject of
history, Joe,
remember that time, I’m sure
your father told you about it,
when after they rolled over Poland,
FDR gave the Nazis that billion dollars
in military weaponry to fortify their
defenses, ahead of their successful campaign
against France? Oh fuck, wait Joe, wait,
FDR never did that, did he?
So why are you doing it now, Joe?
Why are you giving and giving
billions on billions of dollars
to a country that told your grandfathers,
and your grandfather’s sons, and
then told you that their entire
mission in life was to forever make dead,
forever make forgotten, millions of
people that they keep telling you,
aren’t even fully human?
For fuck’s sake, Joe.
For the holy fucking sake
of God, Joe.
I would like to end this,
as I began, by saying,
I understand.
I can see what you’re doing,
I grasp the dialectic, I see
the long game you’re playing.
Save ourselves from ourselves.
Save democracy today,
save humanity after you win
the next election, for every
two steps forward, there must
always be one step back.
It’s the old pragmatist’s
way of things, and you, Joe,
are very, very old.
But that’s not
the way we work
anymore, Joe.
History remembers, because
history’s children are never
allowed to forget.
And the end is never, ever
justified by the means.
I’m going to end this,
because all things end, Joe.
And because you know this
better than almost anyone
currently in political office,
I will tell you that
the right side of history
is not the winning side of
a mass extinction. That
the right side of history
is not the wrong side of compassion.
And that the right side of history
is never seen in the form of someone
whose idea of a safe space is a space
that isn’t safe, because when they look
at the people on the other side,
they can’t ever feel safe,
until they’re all dead.
Do you understand, Joe?
Holidazed
Morning Journal
Friday 11/29/24
09:30
For me, it’s all about the “bandaged heart” emoji now.
These emotions feel weirder, tinged in holiday-washed tones, like SEPIA, but with twinklier lights everywhere. My own feelings took a hit yesterday. It’ll all work out, just like the logistics wizard in me always works things out.
I guess that’s just me. The UNSPECTACULAR QB. The Game Manager.
Also, maybe this is why I write poetry. Because way down deep inside of me, I want to be appreciated for more than my game management skills. I want someone to be MIND-BLOWN by just a short burst of words, so that, spontaneously, they go…
“What the ACTUAL fuck?!!”
All because something amazing, that was always inside me, that my day-to-day game management skills otherwise camouflaged, exploded on the page right in front of them, and they don’t know how to react to it, other than with the eyes of a child, and the vocabulary of a World War II sailor.
That’s not asking too much, is it?
Guess I’ll find out if it is or isn’t, someday very soon, because I’m about to pursue it, headlong, like Jay Leno, falling face-first down a hill. Bloody and bruised, with nothing more than a shrug and a smile for The ‘Gram. And that reaction,
“What the ACTUAL fuck?!!”
from anybody who was paying attention.
Talk to you tomorrow.
Grandchild
We may never have
more circuses to
run away and join,
and I gave up
looking down to find
that shiny, lucky coin.
Our world may not
become what we both
expect it to.
But from this moment on,
if everything is lost,
I have you.
To Be Read Aloud, but Maybe Not at My Funeral
I am attracted to
that which is bad for me.
Fried foods. Liquor.
A certain woman.
None of which are
actually bad, when used
as directed, although,
unlike fried foods
and liquor, a woman is
never to be used.
In the space between my heart
and my head, there is
a disconnect, wider than
the space that borders hell.
The space between my heart
and my imagined heaven.
It was never that a woman
was bad for me, it was that
I would not let go of
my own bad, first. Needed
to give that up, without
a certain woman strong enough
to take it all away.
And it has never true.
I mean the part about
the bad in me being taken
away, not the part about
a woman being strong,
and not the part about
my imagined heaven.
I think the closest thing
there is to my imagined
heaven is a woman,
a certain woman
who, if she could love me,
could love the bad in me,
and then it would not be
use, it would be share.
We could share
each other’s bad away.
But this is fiction, just like
my imagined heaven, and not
the space between my heart
and my head.
The space that borders hell.
Hundred-Eighty
Sometimes, I feel like
a hundred-eighty pounds
of feathers,
taking up more
space than weight.
A lighter kind of heavy than
a hundred-eighty pounds
of lead,
in the place where
my heart used to be.
Boyfriend
“Your boyfriend flirts hard,”Continue reading “Boyfriend”
he wanted to say.
“I don’t believe you,”
she would’ve replied.
“That’s okay,”
he kept thinking.
Everybody else does.
A Reason
One day I swear,
I will do all the things
you couldn’t bring yourself
to love like I did.
As if I’m gonna
need a reason,
but I remember
that one time, when I heard
you say that everyone should
love themselves
more than the one they
let break their heart.
Be Happy I’m a Pacifist
It is written,
“The Lord is my banner.”
But I have said,
“When we see the banners on
the back of their pickup trucks,
we know who they are.”
Those who come with
warning labels like,
“This vehicle stops at all
railroad tracks... to reload.”
“Proud parent of another
school shooter.”
“The only thing thin about
me is my Thin Blue Line.”
We know intimidation when we see it.
The red ball cap, the billowing flags.
We’ve learned how to identify the bullies,
but have we also forgotten how to
love our enemies?
I no longer see the image of their God
upon the faces of what passes for their
humanity. My heart is now bound by a
weight that sinks me under waves of hate.
In a future time,
others may come with
warning labels like,
“The only good bully
is a dead bully.”
“It’s okay, no one
will miss you.”
“I’ll make yours look
like a suicide.”
“Be happy I’m
a pacifist.”
A Brief Moment of Clarity
It’s about
someone you want
to wake up next to,
if you even slept
at all.
Bedtime
It began raining, sometime before midnight.
It’s the middle of December, and it hasn’t gotten cold yet. Maybe just a little crispy some nights, but it doesn’t freeze anymore, south of Poughkeepsie, not even at night. Not since last spring. Having lived most of my life in Southern California, a long life so far, you’d think I might welcome a two-year thaw in the Tri-State. The answer to that thought is, no.
A few winters ago, and by “winter” I mean around the time that pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training in Florida and Arizona, I had my picture taken, while lying face down in a foot of front yard snow, wearing nothing but underwear and gloves. It seemed funny at the time; the kind of thing we used to do for social media, when I was a thin-blooded LA transplant, braving the New York elements, swearing to everybody back home that, “It really isn’t that cold here”. Like so many other things about leaving the only life you’ve ever known, for a new one you’ll never really know as home, snow not being cold was the strangest one of all.
Now, with what’s looking like another January in shorts and tee shirts, everyone here is beginning to wonder out loud what summer is going to do to us.
I mean, this is Long Island, so you don’t run into much other than “climate deniers”. The same way you don’t run into much other than pickup trucks with bumper stickers that read TRUMP 2028. But for the first time since I got here, I actually heard the kid behind the counter at Dunkin saying, “The fuck is goin’ on with this weather?” And for the first time since I got here, I actually had the nerve to reply, “Shit, bro, you tell me.”
Last night, on ABC/Newsmax, the blonde woman filling in for the regular anchor, the one who got himself fired for reminding his viewers that he was, in fact, gay, said that the merger of the two broadcasting companies was almost complete, and still right on schedule. Also, that next week’s primetime special featuring the first televised public execution of a political enemy would be shown in its entirety, live at 9 PM Eastern, 6 PM Pacific. Before going to commercial, she reminded her audience that the regularly scheduled episode of Shark Tank would run at its usual time, the following Friday.
I haven’t decided yet if I’ll watch.
I mean, back in ’24, I skipped watching Mike Tyson fight Jake Paul because it wasn’t going to start till after my bedtime, so what makes the network think I’ll still be up when they finally get around to the main event, sometime after ten? Also, that seems like it’s probably past the executed’s bedtime, as well.
Maybe he’ll be asleep before it happens, too.
