“I’ve been holding up the world too long.”
Those were my words to her, when I finally had the words to say. I had been in hiding from her, and from the world, for days; short texts becoming longer, until I could not look at them anymore.
“Thanks for having the guts to be honest,” she answered.
There is a difference between being honest, and telling the truth. One involves not lying. The other, speaking when it hurts; sometimes to the ruin of those you love, and eventually, yourself.
I once wrongly believed that my cup had no bottom, meaning I could take into myself all the burdens of those I chose to bear the burdens of. Sadly, turns out this is bullshit, and you never know when your cup is going to overflow, until it does.
My cup has a bottom now. I found it in the place where ego learns the difference between honesty and the truth. In the same place where you learn that you can’t help anyone if you’re helpless, and the first person you have to be honest with is you.
© Copyright 2017 William S. Friday