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Archive for the tag “guilt”

Writer’s Block

“So block me, already.”

I would never actually say

“There’s not one thing I can say to make this better, but I want to try, because that’s just me. Always trying to fix things after I’ve broken them.”

I have a broken track record

“Except I don’t even know where to begin. It’s like my soul has writer’s block, and I know that all words are meaningless. Because with you, actions speak.”

you have a track record too

“So I’ll say my broken peace, and leave you to yours.”

that’s all I know to do

“I was wrong, and probably always will be. So don’t reply… please, don’t.”  

I couldn’t read it even if you did

“Just block me.”

just block me

 

 © Copyright 2016 William S. Friday

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Today Was A Day

stop TODAY WAS A DAY

Today was a day

The sun rose before I opened my eyes to its light

Fat were the clouds come in before dark

colder than the air conditioning at Starbucks

 

Today was a day

I learned the truth about the emptiness of the night

Full was her mouth with come in the dark

older from this youthful indiscretion

 

Today was a day

When football takes the place of church and feels more right

Empty was their comfort come after dark

and guilt in the past pleasure of the two

 

Today was a day

As every other lapsed memory lost without fight

Thin my acceptance of life come against the dark

where acceptance is the last

 

© Copyright 2015 Bill Friday

Exonerate

IMG_1548

 

There is no court to exonerate

No appellate or arbiter, in this world,

or the next

To discharge such unconvicted guilt,

accepted life sentence of a twisted

heart

But myself

 

© Copyright 2015 Bill Friday

Three Heartbeats in Eternity

three heartbeats x2

 

 

 

 

 

 

I spoke to a friend today,

much longer than I had the right to,

and learned that it was okay to just be.

I whined like a goddamned infant child,

and found a place to lay my head.

And for what seemed like

three heartbeats in eternity,

I saw things as they really were.

 

I spoke to a friend today,

not as long as I would have liked to,

but guilt held onto me.

I felt like a thief,

shoving goodness into pockets full of shit.

I felt worse, then better by the end.

And for what seemed like

three heartbeats in eternity,

I didn’t want to die.

 

And I kissed my fingers toward heaven.

 

© 2014 Bill Friday

My Vices Are Relatively Few

my vices are relatively few 2

My vices are relatively few…

I drink too much
but at home, and not in danger
I sleep too little
because I drink too much
And guilt
Guilt at the things I’ve done wrong
Guilt at the things I’ve not done
Guilt at the things I’ve yet to do
I’ve been forgiven for all the things I’ve done
or not done
and maybe for all the things I’ve yet to do
but one
Because she is only almost five
and must first be hurt before she can forgive

My vices are relatively few…

© 2013 Bill Friday

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