Disenfranchised
I lost a child. You lost a parent. She lost a spouse. He lost a limb. We lose what we lose, and when it’s lost, it is gone. Not misplaced.
Not missing like car keys to be found five minutes later next to the half-and-half in the fridge.
But missing like one minute you’re saying “Good morning”, “Goodnight”, “See you soon”, and the next, you’re never saying it again, except to a ghost.
This is grief, unless it’s not your child, your parent, your spouse, or your limb. Then, it’s an excuse, a personal problem, a character flaw. And it isn’t even that your grief doesn’t belong to you, it’s that you don’t belong to your grief.
You are disenfranchised.
From your pain. From your love. From your god-granted human experience. From all of it.
You are disenfranchised.
She lost a best friend? Get over it. He lost a girlfriend? Get over it. They lost a reason to get out of bed in the morning? Get the fuck over it.
When our right to grieve is denied us, except within the boxes others say must be checked. When all love is love, but not all grief is grief. When pain and mourning require blood kin for legitimacy. And when the dignity to recover, as we are, is questioned, we are disenfranchised.
And if you wonder why this story has no end, it is because, like an end to grief, there isn’t one. Because like you, like me, like he, like she, it, and we, remain disenfranchised.
© Copyright 2018 William S. Friday
