Circle of Friends – Part Two

(begin Part Two with a little overlap for continuity)

I alluded to this in November’s Episode Four, Rashomon.

(flashback)

In mid-September, I sent out the first of a series of texts and DMs to people I had considered what came to be called the “First Circle” friends. That is, those who would be told first, by virtue of the frequency of communications between the two of us. A couple of dozen folks. The essence of that message was to tell them that I had been gotten a preliminary diagnosis of renal cell carcinoma, and that I was waiting for further steps to be taken, which would ultimately lead to surgery. In late September, having been given a date for my surgery, I sent a second round of texts and DMs to the First Circle, and a similarly-crafted message to folks in what came to be called the “Second Circle”. Ultimately, with a couple of days to go before the surgery was to take place, a final “Third Circle” message was sent to let those who, for a multitude of reasons, I had not previously informed.

So, you know how you can think you know someone… until you REALLY know someone… and then you realize you really didn’t know them at all? I will never assume anything about a Circle Friend EVER again. Through this, I have learned that a friend is not that person you assumed they were. A friend is someone who exists in reality, not in your mind. And not in your own wishful thinking about them. And a good friend is someone who never thought they needed to try and convince you of who they already were all along.

(flash-forward)

See? I got us back to the point without either one of us getting lost… for long. So now, the point.

The point.

The point.

Oh yeah, circles. And the Logistics Gene.

To give you a quick idea of what the blesscurse of Organizational Logistics looks like, between the time of my diagnosis and the time of my surgery, I had categorized all the people in my life by which circle of existence they occupied in my life, closest to furthest away. I called them The Circles, and those who occupied them I called Circle Friends. This, I believed, would make the dissemination of information about what was happening so fast in my life organized, simplified, beneficial.

What I came to learn was, it set me up for disappointment. Which is why you keep reading the word blesscurse here. Because with every blessing in life, there is always the potential for a downside… a curse… and the decision to accept it and roll with it, or be crushed by it.

What I learned in accepting it was, there is ONE CIRCLE.

It might make navigating life a little less organized, but it’ll be a better life. A better life with all the people of the ONE CIRCLE. My friends. Like I said in Rashomon,

“A friend is someone who exists in reality, not in your mind.”

(c) copyright 2020 William S. Friday

4 thoughts on “Circle of Friends – Part Two

  1. We’re definitely on the same wavelength (as if there was much room for doubt); the other day I wrote, “In times of tragedy, we learn who our true friends are…”
    I guess there’s a reason proverbs have stuck around for so long – a friend when we’re in need really is a friend indeed.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I used to have a tendency to like people for who I thought they could become instead of who they actually were. At the time, I thought I was being optimistic, but really I was just setting myself up for future disappointment.

    I think your new perspective on Circles is maybe a little bit like that.

    Liked by 1 person

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